BREAKING: Hugh Hefner Death Hoax Picked Up By Every National Media Outlet

This hoax was engineered by Hef himself. .

Hugh Hefner is alive and well and enjoying what he believes will be his “last vacation abroad.” After having himself declared dead, Hefner hopped inn unassuming Jeep Grand Cherokee and headed to a local airstrip.

That’s where we found Johnston Willis, air traffic controller at Fictitious Field, a suitable place for Hef to embark for the beginning of the end:

“It was him. He was still wearing the smoking jacket and he had a model with him. They paid everyone off that day but apparently forgot about the guy who cleared him for takeoff.”
We paid Willis $100K for the exclusive rights to the story, which mainstream media will never admit they got wrong. After speaking with Willis, correspondent Cynthia Luwhoe made contact with dozens of girls with no luck until she ran into Lydia Corningstone, a young woman who couldn’t hold back her anger:

“Hugh just wanted to end his life on his terms. He’s gone forever is all anyone needs to know. He’s been planning this for decades. He’s happy and by this time next year he’s sure he’ll be with God. Leave the guy alone and get a life.”
It’s a happy truth that Mr. Hefner is still with us and apparently off on an adventure to finish his bucket list. He worked tirelessly all his life for conservative causes and donated more than $4 Million to the Knights of Columbus. He also set up trust funds for children when girls got pregnant accidentally so they wouldn’t have abortions. Every model was required to pray with him daily and required to attend church in the mansion’s private chapel.

Hopefully he finds peace.